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Tuesday 1 May 2012

Blue Badge Vigilante's

Today is Blog Against Disablism Day - this is my first attempt at blogging about it, we officially don't accept Racism in this country, there are recent incident of people being arrested for tweeting racist hateful comments, or posting on facebook. But I haven't seen any high profile arrests for similar incidents of hate crime against sick and disabled people.

I'm struck that for many many people me included the fear of being targeted is real and sadly for many its a reality. Especially living with an invisible illness - before i had to use a stick full time i was tutted at and often ignored if i asked to sit in the disabled seats on buses - I was once asked why?

Explaining i couldn't stand up and needed it only elicited scorn and i was so embarrassed i wanted to curl up and cry. No one helped and everyone looked away. It seems so many look away and don't stand up for others, I notice now I do use a stick its easier like i have a badge "see look at me the flowery stick user I'm legit now"

So how did we end up in this state of affairs, hate crime has increased 100,000 disabled people were victims in 2009/10 I found this very helpful video talking about it Disability Hate Crime I don't have time to go into all the whys and wherefores of why this has increased,  the report i read yesterday commissioned by the MS society Fighting Back - Ms Society Report  can perhaps point to one of the many reasons.

One of the saddest and most shocking stat is that 1 in 4 (24%) think disabled people exaggerate their symptoms. I really shouldn't be shocked anymore - but I am. Disablism is alive and well in our modern tolerant society. The report also says that even people aware of MS have similar attitudes

So what has this got to do with a Blue Badge* and an invisible Illness, lots as it happens. I am seeing more and more anecdotal evidence of people fired up about protecting disabled parking spaces for the "real" disabled people* 

You could say its misguided they think they are doing a good thing, yet show such a pathetic lack of understanding and out dated attitudes of what constitutes disability all they are doing at best is isolating people further and at worst perpetuating the myth that you are only disabled if you use a wheelchair and are paralysed in someway. Everyone else it seems is exaggerating and lying.

I wish I could say I'm shocked but I'm not anymore. The fear this kind of behaviours generates is palpable, I only breath a sigh of relief when LM gets my wheelchair out like its a symbol of "see I am disabled and need it" how bloody appalling is that.

I wish I had lots of quotes from people hassled, spat at, pushed, shoved, verbally abused for daring to use a Blue Badge and parking legitimately in a parking spot. Yet this go unchallenged, aided and abetted by society the don't look, don't say culture of not stepping in to protect others is a sad indictment of us.

 "on the way home I popped in to get my little 83 year old friends shopping list and was met on return to my car by a very obnoxious man.. long story but once again - you don't look disabled came into conversation.. this really upset me"


"I have MS and I am 42 sadly I dont look disabled ( well I dont have a wheelchair!) and get shouted at quite a lot! even had an old fella standing in the disabled bay I was trying to park in shouting that I couldnt park there! and recently on leaving asda ( I quite often take my son in his wheelchair there after school!) the girl asked me if I had a parking ticket to be refunded, I said no and she glared at me and told me in no uncertain terms how disgusted she was with my for using his badge! I wasnt it was my badge in the car his is in the kitchen cupboard! dont think she belived me and to be honest sick of having to defend myself from every expert who dont know a thing!"
2 quotes from people with invisible illnesses 
Assumptions are dangerous and make an ass of us - I have learnt to ask for help and 90% of the time i am treated with courtesy and help. There is a vast spectrum of what it means to be disabled or impaired, or sick or struggling or what ever term you choose to use.

Even on here i worry about what to say am I chronically sick? or because my illness will never go away and this half life is as good as it gets am I now disabled? i don't know and perhaps that's some of the problem.
If we don't educate and challenge ourselves and people we know about our illnesses and watch what we say how on earth are we ever going to educate anyone else.

Disablism is both a problem for us and our problem, we are members of society yet I know I'm as guilty as anyone of making assumptions and judgements of people I know nothing about. are you?

*Blue Badge is only awarded to people who either have High Rate Mobility and therefore cant mobilise (walk) more than 50 metres either at all or without severe discomfort and pain or now have a medical to see if they met the criteria.

*Real Disabled people - I have no idea what one is but its something i see all to often from the government to people shouting at vulnerable people in car parks

45 comments:

  1. While I've never had actual abuse thrown my way, I do tend to attract a lot of "Get Over It" or "You Can't Be That Ill" type comments. The saddest part is, these are from people I believed to be friends.

    And even family in some cases.

    There is so much stigma involved with invisible chronic illnesses, and the government bandying around statements like "People on Incapacity Benefit are benefit cheats and fraudsters" just makes things worse.

    Hopefully one day people will accept that we are ill, there is something wrong, and that we do need the help - be it a blue badge, a bus pass, or extra help financially.

    I think these days are a long LONG way off :(

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  2. I often get stared at when I drive into disabled spaces, especially by the elderly, because I am young. They stop staring once I get my crutches out of the back seat and suddenly find something else to look at! And yet at Tesco the other day when it was lashing down with rain my OH counted 4 cars parked in disabled spots without a blue badge, it would seem not wanting to get wet has become a disability!!

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  3. @Peter Clutton1 May 2012 at 11:10

    Your so right.

    To be honest I never get out of my mobility car when going into my local town with wifey and the kids, I'm fed up with being called leech, scrounger, and other words I would not repeat here.
    Most of the time I just sit listening to music or the radio... I'm grateful I have a loving family to care for me so my whinge is miniscule compared with the pain and suffering of others. unless I'm going to use my scooter I park in normal parking bays with the view there's always some one worse than yourself.

    great article by the way, hope to see more of the same.
    Regards Peter.

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  4. i too have received quite a lot of disablism when using my mobility scooter,one lady even stopped me and said ur not old its illegal for u to ride this scooter,also i was stopped going into morrisons by the security guard who said i cudnt ride around the store on it,my reply well r u going to push the wheelchair around and carry my basket,to which he said no so i asked to see the manager,she came and said sorry but the same thing happened the following week so i now refuse to go there unless im really stuck.i love ur blog xx

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  5. I have both a visible and an invisible disability. Sometimes, as a Blue Badge holder, I'm actually glad of the physical one when it comes to parking.

    I've witnessed for myself such incidents as you and commenter's describe. Each time, I feel a knot of anxiety in my stomach at the person's discomfort.

    It must be hard. I know it's hard. We can only hope that the present trends towards those with invisible disabilities passes. Or am I being naive? I find that these days, I invariably am. :(

    Many thanks for sharing your thoughts and difficulties.

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  6. im sorry but i must disagree with some of what you say. disabled spaces are there to make disabled peoples lives a bit easier. i am in a wheelchair, and those spaces are essential for me getting out. so imagine i am at asda, all the disabled spaces are full. i wait a good 30 mins, only to see a full abled person return to his/her car. if you are fully mobile, you do not need to use disable spaces. they are designed as wide spaces so easier to get out of the car, and close to the door so less distance to travel. im sorry if you disagree, and i am not a disableist, as i am disabled.

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    1. Being disabled doesn't mean you're not a disablist. You refuse to believe that people who aren't in wheelchairs might have challenges that are comparable to yours, that is shameful. What about people with chronic fatigue and pain problems? They have a limited amount of mobility, but you don't think that they should get a disabled place because they're not in a wheelchair? How is that not disablist?

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    2. Totally agree with you!!

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    3. I just had to respond to this, as I experienced a similar issue today. I'm 27, have been disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was 6 years old, however I don't use crutches or a wheelchair. My disability is invisible unless you look closely at my hands and notice the slight deformity, or my very slight limp.

      The difference with me is that I work full time 9-6pm in central london as I need to earn a living to be able to pay all my living expenses. I can't drive into central london and so I have to drive and park outside a train station which has disabled bays with no time limits, so I park my car there (right outside the station) in the morning and pick it up on the way home.

      The problem I've run into is that there is a taxi rank right next to the parking spaces, and I find myself getting grief from them because I look healthy on the outside but on the inside my joints are in their 80s. Even though they could clearly see the blue badge in the front, the taxi drivers shook their heads at me, which is understandable when I look young and healthy, but even after showing them my picture on the blue badge they continued to tell me that I shouldn't be parking there as there are real disabled people who need those spaces, to which I told him I was one of those people. My boyfriend and I stood there having an argument with them and it really got to me, to be told I don't deserve to park there. I've had RA for 21 years now, and have worked either part time since I was 16 alongside college and uni, or full time outside of these, except for 6 months when I had both my hips replaced. Funnily enough, despite having arthritis all these years I didn't actually get my blue badge until a year ago, and during all those years I never once thought about parking in a disabled space. Now that I have a blue badge, I park in them as and when I feel I need them. So to be told by a taxi driver that I don't deserve to park there was distressing for me to hear.

      I may look OK on the outside but inside I have to live with constant pain, What I find worse is that I do work full time, and the blue badge (and also freedom pass), give me that extra freedom, knowing that I don't have to pay 130quid a month to have to stand up on a train and cause more joint pain, or have to walk ages to a car park after I come out from the station and I have to deal with that abuse even after showing my picture on the blue badge.

      Rheumatoid Arthritis is very much an invisible illness, but just because I work and I'm not in a wheelchair and don't use crutches, does that mean that I don't deserve to make use of the disabled bays?

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  7. To Anonymous. Having an invisible disability means that you are NOT fully mobile, you just look it. This is the whole point of this blog. Disabled spaces have 2 uses: the wide spaces for wheelchairs, guide dogs and those with limited mobility, and the close proximity to the shops. Just because someone doesn't need the wide space doesn't mean they don't need the second. Likewise just because a wheelchair user doesn't necessarily need to be close to the shop doesn't mean they don't need the wide space.

    Secondly it is fully possible to be both disabled and disablist. Having one disability doesn't automatically mean you understand other disabilities as you have just so perfectly demonstrated.

    I am now a full time wheechair user. I can categorically say that I need my blue badge less than in the early days of my illness when I had no mobility aid at all and "looked normal". Yet in those days I often came in for verbal abuse from both non disabled and disabled people alike.

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    1. there are many shops that have normal spaces next to disabled spaces. if you are mobile but need to be close to the shops, then use them. i respect that you also are in a wheelchair, and i can assure that i am not a disablist, as i am currently in the beginning stages of campaigning against ATOS's discrimination, and a shake up in the blue badge scheme, as i have learned that people with mild mental health issues are not only easily eligible for DLA and ESA, but also are entitled to a blue badge. as someone with a severe spinal problem, i have been refused DLA 3 times and will be in court soon about it, and recently my ESA has been stopped due to government legislation. i am in constant communication with my MP who is helping me with all of the above. do you agree with what i said about people with mild mental health issues having a blue badge being wrong??

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    2. People with Heart or Lung Conditions have to be close to the shop entrance but to most people they would look completely normal. Don't judge a book by it's cover! Pain is not visible and has no discriminator of age. If I didn't park in disabled spaces (I have a blue badge) I would be unable to buy food or go to the chemist or doctors as I just cannot manage the distance due to pain, yet outwardly most people would think I was fine. You are judging people without knowing their story. By all means have a go at people using the spaces who DON'T have a blue badge but don't judge those who do have one by how they look, you can't see everything! My DLA and therefore blue badge was hard to get but I do need it so I got it.

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    3. I totally disagree with the Anonomous comment about it only being for wheelchair users. I struggle with a mild form of cerebral palsy, I have never used a wheel chair or crutches however I have recently been getting fatigue from going out more and walking long distances all day. I have always got tired but rarely went out on long trips. I have now applied for a blue badge, but used to feel like i didn't need one or deserve one, however I do, once I get a job and start living my life properly I will be too exhausted to walk around shops, yes I can walk fast when I want to but most of the time I walk slow and save my energy. If I didnt I would fall over!!! most of the time my difficultys are invisable, yes I walk unbalanced and with a weird gait but people dont see my pain, if anything its worse because I dont use crutches. I get burning sensations on my feet sometimes and random injurys.

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  8. I think because the sign for a blue badge is a wheelchair it stereotypes and that contributes to it's misunderstanding of use.

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    1. the blue badge scheme was originally designed for the use of people with mobility problems. much easier to draw a wheelchair than someone on crutches, you agree?

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    2. ok what picture would you put on them?

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    3. Really I think we have to come together and if you have a blue badge and need to use a disabled parking bay......use it. Unfortunately the symbol used does not represent all......as yet, a generic symbol would suffice and hopefully be one step towards the prejudice or pitty

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    4. Here's an example of a sign that includes people with wheelchairs, people on crutches and people with guide dogs: http://www.grt.ca/en/accessibility/resources/Priorityseating.jpg It doesn't seem so complicated to me.

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  9. My stepmother recently went into a local council office to apply for a blue badge for my father, who is terminally ill and severely incapacitated. The clerk behind the desk took a look at the application form and sneered 'And you're saying he can't even walk 50 yards?'because he looked healthy enough in the photograph he'd supplied. Stepmother is a Daily Mail reader and devours stories of scrounging sickies bleeding the taxpayer dry and taking all the best parking spots to boot. She was mortally offended that the attitudes produced by the Fail's misleading rhetoric could be directed towards genuinely sick and disabled people.

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    1. fully agree with this. people who are genuinely disabled are treated like trash, but people who arnt and who fake or exaggerate their symptoms get things no problem, and im disgusted by the way they have treated your husband

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    2. It you truly fully agreed with Anonymous, you would recognize that seeing the problem as people who fake or exaggerate things, is the problem. I've known tons of disabled people and only a handful of people who fake and exaggerate. The reason that real disabled people have trouble getting things is directly because of attitudes like yours. If there was not a belief that there's all these people faking things, disabled people would have no trouble. That belief itself, though not backed up by any solid research, creates a climate where real disabled people are treated with extra suspicion and targeted for hate crimes, declared fit for work just before they outright die, harassed at disabled parking spaces, etc. All of those things -- the fault of attitudes like yours. So if you want disabled people to keep on being treated like shit and denied assistance then by all means continue with your attitude. The people with the real power love you for it.

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    3. Oh and also. If you think you can tell people are all faking and exaggerating all the time, you've got another think coming.

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    4. I'm sorry Amanda but I do know people who fake disability!!

      It is naive to think otherwise

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  10. I don't have a disability that affects my mobility and i hope i never do. but i hate people telling someone else how ill or disabled they are. i also really hate disabled being perceived only as being in a wheel chair. i work in an office of 15 people of these 6 people have a recognised disability. not one of these is in a wheel chair. in all likely hood i will end up being registered as blind... will that count as disabled. when i have used a white stick its obvious when i don't i look normal and i can't get help from anyone. No matter what i do. i think that attitudes need to change in this country. and people need to stop saying .... there making it up.... or there over exaggerating. yes some do but i and countless others don't.

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    1. if you are going to go blind, then you will possibly need a badge for your designated driver. all im saying is that the blue badge scheme needs a shake up as it seems they are giving badges out willy nilly!

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  11. Thank you to everyone who has taken the trouble to tell thier story and contribute, I am a little spoonless this afternoon but i will reply when im more with it.

    what i will say in short is that when we fall into the trap of judging who has more enbtitlement than someone else we are in danger of being just as prejudiced and ill informed as someone with a disability or chronic illness.

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  12. " Especially living with an invisible illness - before i had to use a stick full time i was tutted at and often ignored if i asked to sit in the disabled seats on buses - I was once asked why?"
    While that sucks, I totally understand why someone would ask why. In fact, they should ask why. You should be able to simply say "I have a disability and need it" and that should be accepted, but not even asking lets moochers take those seats the same way the comments keep mentioning non-disabled cars in disabled parking spots.

    Sickies and scroungers are not only the bane of the health system, they are causing trouble for the disabled as well.

    My father would use an elevator primarily for the disabled while everyone else was meant to take the stairs in a particular building we went to regularly. He was one time asked why he took the elevator (he wasn't in a wheelchair or crutches or anything). He said "I only have half of one lung" (he had terminal lung cancer). On the one hand, I am glad someone asked him. On the other, his answer should've been enough (it was here, no problem).
    And yes, he got a blue thing to hang in his car to park in the disabled parking places. No, the regular ones next to the disabled ones are never free, and he would have collapsed half-way across a filled parking lot. A few meter's steps required he sit down and catch his breath for several minutes. Though in many places there are only a few extra-wide slots and then regular-width disabled slots.

    I see a difference between asking someone if they are disabled, and being snarky, mean, disbelieving or rude about it. The former are doing what they think is their social duty (keep the seats/elevators/parking places/etc available for those who need them) while the latter are practicing disablism.

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    1. you talk sense. as i have said, disabled spaces are designed for people who cant travel far and need to be nearer to shops etc. an example is my ex, she tore her achilies heal many years ago. its pretty much healed, but every year she gets a new blue badge, she can walk perfectly fine. then there is someone i know who has mild bipolar, she is thinking of applying for a blue badge, she is fully mobile. should people like this be allowed a blue badge??

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    2. Stomme poes

      People should not have to sacrifice their privacy just because they have a disability. People should not have to put up with 50 people asking "are you really disabled?" every time they go somewhere just because they happen to have a disability that isn't visibly obvious. And, no, a polite tone doesn't help that much when you have to hear the question that many times over and over: the question itself is intrusive and rude no matter how nicely you ask it. Let the people who pass out blue badges decide who is really disabled, not random strangers in the street. If you see someone who doesn't "look" disabled to you but has a blue badge, please just leave them alone.

      So called "sickies and scroungers" are actually far too rare to be causing that much trouble (fraud rate in DLA, etc. = less than 1 percent). What does cause a heck of a lot of trouble are people who think they have a right to scrutinize their neighbors and strangers in the street and decide who is "disabled" enough to "deserve" a little respect and consideration. I'd rather allow a small number of "lazies" get away with pretending to be disabled on occasion (and again, this is far more rare than the media today would have you believe) than create a situation where disabled people have to put up with being challenged about their disability status all the time when they're just trying to go about living their lives.

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    3. Thank you for posting this :).

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  13. Joe public can't win - so we're not supposed to raise an eyebrow if somebody doesn't appear to be disabled but they are in a disabled seat or space ? Then you get upset and over dramatise how you handle the situation ? Pah

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    1. If you think you know what "appearing to be disabled" means, you're extremely ignorant. One in five people is disabled after all.

      Thing is, it's not your job or your duty to raise eyebrows. It's not your job to constantly be on the lookout for disabled people trying to "get away with something" by faking or exaggerating symptoms. It's that entire mentality that leads to the worst shit disabled people have to deal with.

      And by the way, telling a disabled person they are overdramatizing things, on their own blog, describing their personal experiences with the suspicion disabled people face? Not cool. Not harmless. Did you know that disabled people die because we are afraid to seek medical treatment for fear of being told we are exaggerating? Did you know we die because of the mentality that looks for "exaggerating" (not fitting a preconceived stereotype) and denies us treatment even if we seek it? We also die because we push ourselves too hard, believing that we ourselves are only exaggerating (or fearing we will be accused of it) if we actually rest and pace ourselves properly.

      Nobody dies if the rare occasional person gets away with exaggerating things. And that's what it is. Rare. So pardon me if I have little sympathy for your "no-win" situation.

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    2. And if you want concrete examples:

      I have lung damage that will never go away and that renders me susceptible to life threatening infections. I got it because I had an infection. That infection was not recognized or treated soon enough because emergency room doctors time and time again treated me for asthma and when I said that didn't work, accused me of being manipulative. I got pneumonia and part of my lung collapsed before anyone took me seriously. And it still took a fight to get tested for the damage that was causing continual problems. Before this was figured out I had a nurse get in my face and scream at me that I wasn't sick.

      I had another doctor say pain was because I was fat and lazy burned out to be from familial early onset gallbladder disease. But they didn't erase how dangerous it had gotten, due to being turned away and fearing to seek medical help, until they did surgery and realized it had long since failed and produced huge stones. I had got to the point I couldn't function and could barely communicate yet a friend told me I was exaggerating when I had to lie down on a sidewalk for an hour before she could drive me home.

      Many times I've worked myself to collapse because of fear of exaggerating or accusations of such. Collapse meaning too weak to breathe on my own. I'm now in bed 24/7 partly because of this repeated fear of resting.

      So many more stories. I am the norm hot the exception. Fakers are the exception not the norm.

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  14. What I really can't understand, and have never witnessed, is how someone with mild mental health difficulties can get a blue badge. Almost all local councils now summon blue badge applicants for a walking test and whilst I accept that some might be able to blag such a test I don't think it would be many. And it's very hard to persuade DWP decision-makers to award DLA, so there's no other way to get one.

    What I do think is that it's very sad that people are so dishonest that others feel they have to challenge them. Some of the problems are about stereotyping - when I had young children I was frowned at for using my blue badge, but as others have said, I needed it more before I used a wheelchair.

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    1. someone i know has mild bipolar, applied for DLA and got it in 10 days! i have a severe spinal problem, am in severe pain 24/7 and am in a wheelchair, yet they wont give it me, i a waiting for a tribunal date. THAT is discrimination and disablism"

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    2. That you didn't get it is disablism. That the person you know got it was the system working properly for once. Your problem was not caused by the person with bipolar. It was caused by the very attitudes you have. It's disablism for you to think that physical disability should trump mental/emotional disability. You both should have DLA.

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  15. I didn't know anything about the disablist day stuff until I was pointed here by a link elsewhere.
    I have an invisible disability. I have a blue badge and I can still walk short distances with a stick. I understand the frustration of a wheelchair user when they see somebody using the disabled parking places that isn't in a wheelchair but, Please, Don't make assumptions about other peoples problems. It is an easy way to divide those that have obvious needs from the ones that are Invisibly disabled and that way lies the NEXT level. Is it going to be "You don't need to park close to the shops as you have an electric wheelchair" next?

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    1. if you are in a wheelchair, you have no choice but to use a disabled space, you need to extra space for someone to get the chair next to your door. some could say "ok, park in a normal space that has an empty one next to it" but if you come back and someone has parked next to you then what?

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  16. I also have fibromyalgia and I also have ME walking any distance causes me extreme pain but I am unable to use a stick or crutches as my shoulders and elbows cannot handle the stress it cause by using them for weight bearing. I used to get DLA and have a blue badge but then the DWP in their wisdom decided I no longer qualified despite my condition worsening. Due to all the harrassment and abuse I received on the rare occasions I used my blue badge I decided to not go for a renewal. You may think oh ok that means you never really needed it but believe me I needed it but the abuse I received from using it was not worth it.
    I also have a friend who has a blue badge for her autistic son which is very much needed as he runs into traffic. If there is not a disabled bay available she cannot park as he is too strong for her to hold back on a longer walk to the shops so don't judge people by appearance. It is a nightmare trying to get a blue badge and to keep it so if someone has one they need it and do not deserve questioning or harrassment.

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  17. The attitudes that are out there never cease to amaze me but are beginning to become the norm. So bad that I am becoming used to it which should never happen in a civilized society of any kind. It's really sad.

    I had several turn downs for a blue badge prior to meeting the criteria for high rate mobility DLA which allowed me to apply and receive one automatically as long as I had the qualifying award.

    This allows me a lot of freedom and independence even if it's just shopping, medical visits/appointments and picking up prescriptions from the chemist it is a big thing for me.

    I was housebound as I couldn't walk the distance from the car park to the shops/facilities I needed access to due to pain and fatigue becoming too intense. As I'm not a masochist. I began to avoid this and family members began to do anything I didn't need to do in person for me.

    Having a blue badge allowed me to once again do things that the majority take for granted for myself again.

    But over the past couple of years I have began to stop doing these in person again, partly due to my degeneration health-wise and most esp. mobility wise, but partly because of the reactions of those seeing a young(ish) woman using a disabled parking space despite needing to use two crutches to stand let alone attempt to walk.

    I've been glared/stared at, insulted (verbally), and thank goodness nothing physical, but not something I particularly enjoy. As you can imagine.

    I am judged because I don't use a wheelchair so don't fit the default view that being disabled has for so many people.

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    1. I'm sorry to read about your experience. Having to deal with verbal abuse and glares because you don't fit in someone's little box royally sucks. I know how it feels, and I wanted to let you know that I sympathize.

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  18. It's wrong to make a generalisation about disabled people. Those that do are generally ignorant and narrow minded. The point the author of this post made, is that there are so many types of disabilities, that come in many shapes and forms.

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  19. Ive just come back from a bb assessment. I have arthritis in multiple joints, and am not due to draw a pension for at least 20 yrs...after 2 walks up and down, I was almost in tears not because of the constant pain in knees, but from excruciating pain in wrist from leaning heavily on crutch whilst walking. Will I regain my bb? Who knows, but humiliation felt at being in tears from being will take a long time to get over. Disability is visible or hidden, variable or permanent, painful or limiting. Walk a mile in my shoes before passing judgement. Hood blog, fibrorgirl.

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  20. I have just been assessed for a blue badge and even though I have stenosis of the spine, plus arthritis of the facet joints in my back. This causes severe painful spasms and is a permanent condition. Although I use a walking stick every day I have now been denied a badge as
    they say I don't meet the criteria even though Mr problem is inoperable so I don't understand where they are coming from. I
    I am not on any benefits and not under any consultants as I have been dischargec from the hospital. Where do I go from here any advice welcome.

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Happy to have thoughtful, funny or imformative comments..abusive crap will be deleted